


You're a nightmare (oh and I just can't see why you should keep on happening to me)

by cigarettesandalcohol



Series: I get round to loving you (Is that such a crime?) [6]
Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Angst, Borderline Personality Disorder, Brother/Brother Incest, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Manipulation, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Self-Harm, Unhealthy Relationships, emotional blackmailing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2019-11-27 08:56:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18192461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cigarettesandalcohol/pseuds/cigarettesandalcohol
Summary: Summer in Madrid.





	You're a nightmare (oh and I just can't see why you should keep on happening to me)

 "Mia! Mia, come on! Where's daddy? Where's daddy?" He covered his own eyes with his hands, waiting for the sound of his little girl scuttling across the room. " _Dónde es papi_?" Her bubbly laugh got closer, then she grabbed his hands with her little chubby ones and shrieked a loud " _taaaaaa_!", which turned into a burst of hysterical laughter when he took the hands off his eyes and hugged her.

"That's my girl!" he said proudly, playfully pulling her two short pigtails. "That's my beautiful girl."

 She was still laughing when he picked his up in his arms - "There goes the airplane!" he warned her, spinning around with her just two times just to spot Erika standing in the doorway. 

"You're both so cute," she said with a smile, entering the room. Antoine stopped in the middle of another turn and held Mia's little hand up. 

"Say hi to mommy!" he said, making her hand do a little wave. " _Hi, mommy_!" he tried to help her, changing his voice into a high pitched one. Erika stopped next to him, patting their girl's head gently. 

"Hi, baby!" She squeezed Mia's cheeks.

" _Hi, mommy_!" Antoine repeated in his funny voice, and Erika laughed, giving him a quick peck on the lips. The girl seemed to like it, she giggled again and then finally said " _mama_ ", looking at Erika with her big round eyes.

"You're my cute little girl, baby - yes, you are." She kissed Mia on the forehead. "My baby girl. Yes - that's you!" She pointed at the girl, grinning, and Mia laughed back. "I'm gonna make us some coffee, okay?" she asked Antoine by the way, without breaking the contact with Mia.

"Thank you."

She gave Mia another little pat and made her way back to the door. "Oh, hi, Théo. Finally got up?"

Antoine's heart always jumped a little when he heard Erika say " _Théo_ ", even now, when it was such a lighthearted greeting. 

Théo was standing in the door, looking like he was just passing by the room and didn't dare to come in - his signature hoodie that he always wore, even now, in the hottest Spanish summer; the white one with a styled black "G" in the front; hair messy as always, sweatpants, no sock and no shoes whatsoever, just a large plastic bottle in one hands, and his smartphone in the other.

Théo was spending his summer with them in Madrid.

As kids, they used to spend holidays in grandparents house. Now Théo was going for a vacation to the Griezmann's family house of a younger generation. Vacation? A break? From what? Antoine didn't want him to come. Parents asked him politely to host Théo in his villa in Madrid to give them a break - and Erika, for some reason, liked her brother-in-law so much she practically begged Antoine to let Théo stay with them, with a promise that "it will be so much fun".

What was so fun about Théo waking up past midday just to hang around the house, staring at his phone, facetiming his crew from Macon and making Instagram posts about himself, Antoine didn't know. If Erika liked having yet another mouth to feed in the house for a month, alright. Though Théo was rarely ever there for lunch or dinner. He usually got up too late for lunch and in the evening, he regularly disappeared from the house - "to stroll around the city" and to "give them some privacy". He hardly ever got back before 4 AM.

Antoine gave him a key and decided to not care.

"Hi."

Théo's face was haggard, and he had dark circles under his eyes as if he hadn't slept at all. 

"Wild night, huh?" Erika continued, poking him in the arm playfully. "I'll make you coffee too, you look like you need one."

"Thanks," he mumbled.

"Aren't you hungry? We had some pasta for lunch - "

"No, I'm good."

"He only eats out," Antoine said, trying to swallow all the poison from his tone. "McDonald's and Burger King."

Théo's eyes darted to him from under his messy fringe. Erika just laughed it off and walked away towards the kitchen to make the coffee as she had promised.

The younger Griezmann was left standing by the door alone, and he quietly stooped from one foot to the other, watching Antoine play with Mia while still holding her.

"Hey," he finally said, as if his first "hi" was aimed only at Erika. 

"Hey," Antoine retorted without even looking at him. He was completely focused on Mia now. He offered refuge to his little brother - and he had to get used to it, but he wasn't willing to let that minor inconvenience destroy his time with Mia.

Théo was an adult.

Mia was not.

And Mia needed him now.

Mia reached for his hair that was now curly and longer once again, and he laughed. "You like that? You like my hair? Like my hair, Mia?" She pulled onto some of it, having a great laugh at how she could straighten some of it and it curled back up. "Daddy has longer hair now. Do you like it? I can pull your hair too!" He pranced around with Mia in his arms, pulling her pigtails and making funny faces when she pulled his blonde curls.

"I like your hair like this too."

It was just the cold, lifeless voice of Théo that made him freeze, stop and hold Mia tighter.

He decided to not care - because nothing else seemed to work. 

He put Mia down, fixing the light-blue dress that she was wearing. "You're a little princess, baby - A princess." She laughed again with excitement. "Yes - princess Mia the First!" She obviously liked the sound of that as she started to dance around, waving her little arms in a funny way, turning around - and stopping only by Théo's feet. She made an incomprehensible sound, probably meaning " _uncle_ ", and put her hands up to him. 

A weak smile appeared on Théo's lips as he stroked her head with the hand in which he was holding the plastic bottle. 

Antoine watched the scene carefully, making a few quick steps closer. He never felt safe when left alone with Théo - and now, his fear only grew worse when Mia was present. But Théo only stroked the girl's hair and then took another sip of his drink.

There was a sharp smell of wine all around him as he gulped and exhaled.

Antoine's eyes grew wide in surprise. "Are you drinking wine? Here? From this bottle?" He quickly grabbed Mia in his arms again and pressed her to his chest protectively, although maybe with too much force because she let out a quiet " _Papi_!" and stopped giggling.

"Are you completely fucked up in your head?" he hissed through his teeth, trying to keep it quiet although he was fuming with anger. "You wanna get wasted? Fine! Go out and get shitfaced all you want. Keep it away from Erika and Mia and for God's sake, keep it away from me! You just woke up, what the fuck is wrong with you?" With every other strong word, he tried to cover Mia's ears. "Stay away from my daughter. I won't let you ruin her life too. If all you wanna do the whole time is lying on a couch and wasting your life away with a plastic bottle of wine, you should have gone to see your friends in Macon."

"I came to see you," Théo said almost apologetically; his wine-soaked voice sounded sad and heavy. "And Mia - " He tried to touch Mia's head again, but Antoine yanked away. 

"Get the fuck out of here," he spat out, holding Mia's head protectively close to his chest, not even trying to cover her ears anymore. "And get some shit to do. Like getting sober and being up to something useful."

"You're hurting me with this, you know?" Théo protested weakly.

"Yeah? Yeah? Am I? Get the fuck out of this room and come back when you're sober."

 

 

Not every day was as bad; sometimes, the summer really felt like an old-time holiday. 

And sometimes, Antoine _could_ understand what Erika so liked about his brother - he could be really fun, he could make fun of himself, not take anything seriously, and - which came to him by surprise - he seemed to be really fond of Mia. In the end, Antoine had to ignore his fear of letting Théo take care of Mia - he still was staying nearby to watch over them both, in some sense, but Théo seemed to be somewhat a really caring uncle. 

"He's like that one mysterious uncle who still looks the same age and never settles nor has his own family," Erika pointed out during one evening when they were all sitting outside on the porch, with an open fire and grilled vegetables and meat. Théo was just sitting at the garden path with Mia, helping her finish her work of art with colored chalks. Antoine was watching them cautiously but somehow, the picture of them playing with color chalks was probably the most family-friendly thing he has ever seen. 

Maybe Théo was a good uncle.

Maybe he was just finally with someone of the same mental age.

He snorted, feeling both amused and disgusted by that thought.

"Hey, Théo!" Erika called on him. "You want some pieces of this grilled pepper? Or I'll eat it myself!"

"No, thanks. We need to get this picture done - right, Mia?" He handed the little girl the green chalk and she nodded. 

"Aren't they just the cutest?" Erika asked, turning to Antoine.

"It's like having two kids," Antoine said flatly.

"Haha, yeah," she laughed, removing the rest of the peppers from the grill. "One day - " she said, giving him a hinting look.

"Yeah?" he turned his head, lost in his own thoughts. "Oh - yeah!" he said when he finally understood what she meant.

Yes, yes of course - they will have a second child one day.

Maybe a third one as well?

Three children, just like his parents have.

The thought of _that_ made his heart skip a beat.

 

 

"Where's Mia?" He got confused for a while because he saw his little girl playing on the carpet with some toys just a few minutes ago - and now, she was not there anymore, although the toys were still there, and Erika was still by the kitchen counter washing the dishes.

"Théo took her out, to the swimming pool."

"What?"

"It's so hot outside - "

"You let him?"

"Why not, he's so good with her - she has her armbands, don't worry, and I can see them through the window - "

He shook his head and headed straight outside.

Théo - once again in his white hoodie, but this time with black shorts - was sitting by the garden swimming pool with his legs dipped in the crystal water; Mia was in the water, just in his reach, more floating than swimming thanks to her inflatable armbands. There was a plastic bottle next to Théo; reason told Antoine to inspect that first.

"What the hell are you doing?" he shouted, pacing toward the suspicious drink. It was just Coke this time. Not healthy in the least, but thank God, at least Théo was not drunk when teaching his own niece how to swim. "Get in the pool if you want to teach her anything - "

"Why are you shouting at me?" he asked in a pained voice, looking up to him with the eyes of a kicked puppy.

"I told you to stay away from her."

"Anto - " Théo reached out desperately for his brother's hand.

"Don't you fucking dare."

He knew that Erika was probably watching the whole scene - and he hated himself for noticing that because it made him think whether he would have reacted differently if she wasn't. 

"Help her out," he simply ordered, squatting down by the edge of the swimming pool and opening his arms towards his little girl. "Come to daddy, baby - "

To his own surprise, Théo listened to him - he reached for Mia and pulled her out of the water, getting his sleeves all wet in the process. "There she is," he said, looking over his shoulder at Antoine. "Our little girl - "

Antoine shot him a look that could kill.

"Not yours, Théo. Definitely not yours."

 

 

"No, he's alright - Yes, yes, of course, we take care of him. Mum, he's - he's like - it's not like he's six. He should be able to take care of himself, spend the holiday by himself -  What kind of holiday is even that? What does he do the whole year that he needs a holiday?" Antoine covered his eyes in an exhausted manner and sighed. He could never understand why the parents have been so overprotective of Théo lately. "No - he's fine. I promise. And Erika really likes him. She treats him like her own little brother."

It was exhausting enough to live with Théo for consistent days and weeks - with Erika and Mia both by his side practically all the time. He wasn't used to that yet. So far, it was always him and Théo - or him and Erika. He has never had them both around for a longer period. Having them in one house for weeks meant a constant state of panic and anxiety, though all Théo has done to him was a few unwanted touches. Maybe _even he_ didn't dare to cross the line now.

"I know but - you know, I wanted to enjoy some time with Erika before I go to France again with the national team - No, he hasn't touched any work since he arrived. I don't know - Designer is a strong word for that." He had to laugh. Of course, his brother called himself a fashion designer but - well. That was questionable in the least. "I don't care, it's his business! Why don't you ask him? - Well, he doesn't tell me either!"

It was so hard to explain to their mother over the phone that all Théo does all day is sitting at different places of the house, playing with Mia and then playing fortnite - and then, he usually leaves for his night adventures that he didn't want to know anything about. He thought that parents would understand since they probably lived with him like this for months now, but mom sounded genuinely surprised to learn that Antoine doesn't even know where Théo spends most of his nights.

"Mum, I'll have to go. Thanks for calling. Say hi to dad and take care. Bye. Bye."

 Théo must have heard some parts of his phone call, because later, during the otherwise quiet afternoon when he was just getting Mia dressed up for a walk, he asked: "So I'm not a real fashion designer?"

Antoine looked at him in surprise - they haven't said anything for at least five minutes, so Théo's sudden decision to speak was unexpected. "What?"

"You said that earlier," Théo continued without looking up from his phone. 

"When?"

"You were talking to mum."

"Oh."

"You said I'm not a designer."

"Oh God, that was just a joke - "

"Yeah?"

"Come on, I didn't mean it."

"You sounded really amused by that."

"Shut up, I didn't mean it."

He got up, fixing Mia's hair a little, feeling proud of how cute she looked in her little denim jacket. 

"Then why did you say it?"

"I really don't have time for that now."

"Why can't you appreciate anything I do?"

Antoine just shook his head, leading Mia towards the door. "We're ready!" he shouted at Erika.

"Yes, I'm coming!" she called back. 

"You said," Théo continued, finally looking up, "that I'm just lazy and that I actually don't work at all and - "

"Well? Isn't that true? What have you done since you arrived? I've only seen you drinking and going to sleep at dawn and calling your old friends. What kind of work is that?"

"I'm here on holiday - "

"What kind of holiday? You try to be an adult - you have to act like one! Do you think you deserve a holiday after the whole year of doing nothing? Don't worry, I know how you spend your days in Macon - "

"You know nothing."

"Do you think this partying and spending money on random trips to McDonald's or to Switzerland and Germany is working? You're practically throwing all the money out of the window, but if you didn't have the "G" to put on all your stupid hoodies you would be _nothing_!"

He knew that it was cruel - but deep inside, at the bottom of his hear, he knew it was all true.

All Théo did was to put the Griezmann name everywhere, use every opportunity to present himself as _Grizi_ 's brother and pretend to be part of the football "Les Bleus" family. And it wasn't right, especially the part about him calling himself a successful fashion designer with promising collaborations and future when all his brand was about was being _Grizi_ 's brother _again_.

 "Come on, you know it's true. Or you're fucking delusional."

 It was either one or the other option.

And judging from Théo's look, Antoine became worried it's the second one.

 

 

In the evening, as Antoine was watching some silly Spanish rom-com with his wife in the living room, with Mia already snuggled up in deep sleep, his phone rang.

"Football-ing responsibilities?" Erika said jokingly when he grabbed his phone and got up from the couch. 

It was Théo's number, which was strange since as far as Antoine knew, Théo was just upstairs in his room, or, actually, in the guest room that became "Théo's room" for this summer. Naturally, he could have sneaked out of the house, but why would he call him then?

"Yeah," he lied, walking away from the room with the phone in his hand as fast as possible.

"Hey? What the fuck, why are you calling me?" he said when he accepted the call.

 "' _toine_?"

Théo's voice was small and frightened as if he had just woke up from a nightmare.

"Yes?"

" _Can you come upstairs_?"

"Why?"

" _I can't - tell you_."

"Then I fucking can't."

" _Please_."

"No."

"' _toine_."

"Don't be ridiculous."

" _Antoine, please_ \- "

"I said no, you don't understand what that means?"

" _I'm bleeding_ \- "

"Stop this fucking - - - _What_?!"

" _Please, come here_ \- "

"You're fucking what?"

" _My hands, Anto_ \- "

"Oh _fuck_."

He ran up the stairs, taking three steps at once, not hanging up. "Théo?" he called, looking desperately at all the doors leading from the hallway. There was a silent knocking coming from the bathroom - of course, it had to be the bathroom, Antoine thought. Why was Théo knocking anyway? Could he just speak? 

"Théo?" he said again, voice shaking with an unconcealed fright. He came to the bathroom door and knocked in response three times. The sound echoed in his brain at least hundred times again before the tired, slow response came in the form of three quiet knocks from the inside.

Antoine took hold of the handle - to his surprise, the door wasn't locked at all.

Inside, Théo was standing in his usual summer uniform, sweatpants and "GZbrand" hoodie and a puzzled look on his face.

"What the hell, Théo?" Antoine grabbed Théo's hands; the hoodie sleeves were clean, there was no blood to be seen - not on the hoodie, not on Théo's sweatpants, not anywhere in the bathroom. "What the fuck are you playing with me here?"

He checked the bathroom again - no blood, no razor blades, nothing that Théo could hurt himself in sight - 

His heart rate went from crazy to freezing cold in just a split second.

"You fucking liar - " He grabbed the cloth under Théo's chin and with a sharp slap, he gave him a smack across the face. "You fucking blackmailer - never try this again with me - "

Théo looked confused, almost disoriented from the painful slap, and he made a step back to sit on the edge of the bathtub to gain some stability. "Anto, wait," he choked out with difficulty.

"Never fucking dare to lie about  _this_ again."

"'toine," Théo pleaded in a broken voice, reaching out his right hand. It remained without any response from Antoine, who was just watching him with spite and disgust in his eyes. "' _toine_ ," his little brother whimpered, turning his hand palm up. 

" _Fuck you_ ," Antoine spat out.

Théo, with his head lowered and with eyes fixed on the white tiles on the floor, reached for the rim of his right sleeve and slowly rolled it up his arm. "I'm sorry," he mumbled incoherently. "It's - for every time - I feel jealous - "

His pale forearm was full of almost identical thin scars and scabs. 


End file.
